Archive for the ‘Liberals’ Category

I Want a Divorce from the Liberals, Leftists, Socialists…

February 19, 2009

As we all do, I receive a variety of political eMails, most of which we read and sometimes pass along as we agree , find poignant or funny; some we just read and do nothing with them. This one I feel worthy of posting, whether  John J. Wall really exists or not. Thanks to Jerry S. for passing along to me.

To: All American liberals, leftists, social  progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al.

 From:   John J. Wall – a Conservative  American

 Dear Liberals, Leftists,  and Socialists:

 We’ve stuck  together since the late 1950’s, but the latest  election  process and your bailout stimulus plan has made me  realize that I want  a divorce.

 

Although we’ve tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, the sad truth is that the relationship between conservatives and liberals has run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America can not and will not ever agree on what is right. Therefore, let’s just end it on friendly terms. You go your way, and I’ll go mine.

We can smile, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences, shake hands, and go our own way. But to do that, we’ll need a “Separation Agreement.” I have drawn one up. I hope you agree with it.


 SEPARATION AGREEMENT  PROPOSAL

 I propose that our two  groups – Conservatives and Liberals  –  equitably divide up the country by  land-mass, each of us taking approximately  50% of the total square miles. I’ll concede that this is the most difficult part of the separation agreement, but I’m sure our two sides can come to terms.

 After that’s done, the rest should be relatively easy!   Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

 For example, we conservatives don’t like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them! They’re all yours!

You are also welcome to take the liberal judges, the ACLU, the affirmative action crowd, the NAACP, and the National Organization of Women.  We don’t want any of them.

We also don’t want Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. You can have them.

Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take the firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military, that you hate so much.

Along with Pelosi and Reid, you can also have Oprah, Michael Moore, (Oliver and Sharon) Stone, and Rosie O’Donnell. (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all of them).

We’ll take the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,  Wal-Mart, McDonald’s, and Wall  Street.

You can have your beloved homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens.   We’ll take the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s, and rednecks.

(more…)

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